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When a pretty woman passes, nine out of ten men imagine somethin. The wise one is doin something.

We always try to do something that cannot be done, for the simple reason that we are fools. Of all the things that look impossible, the one I always try is forget you...only to learn I am not able to.

The past we try to forget, the present we try to let pass, the future we try to reach. It is a good thing we just try, or else we'd end up nowhere.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

In the morning I do not because I think of you, at noon I do not because I think of you, in the evening I do not because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that cows can't fly!

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

When everything is coming your way, you're driving on the wrong lane.

im through wid guys they all tell lies n make u cry. lovin guys is such a sin... hey! check that dude who just walked in.

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. instead of space shuttle, they walked into a garden.

Da gud frn is like a bra, hard to find, comfortable, supportive, n prevents u from fallin. holds u tight n always close to ur heart. ur my dear bra.

]I asked my girlfriend to describe me as a boy friend, as a man, and as a member of family. I was shocked when she said, "You think like a boy, complain like a friend, snore like a man, and dine like a family."

"Tiny ugly duckling," a classmate told me. I was mad and said, "You big fat liar!"

Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies!

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